InnerOvation http://innerovation.com Mon, 18 Sep 2017 22:33:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.6 Crushing (ok working on) My Speaking Anxiety! http://innerovation.com/crushing-ok-working-speaking-anxiety-2017-09-18/ http://innerovation.com/crushing-ok-working-speaking-anxiety-2017-09-18/#respond Mon, 18 Sep 2017 13:29:12 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117259 For all of my life I have been in roles that required leadership and the ability to speak.  When I was young, it was second nature.  I had no problem talking to anyone. My siblings like to say I could make a friend at a rock fight. Perhaps it came from being the youngest of […]

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For all of my life I have been in roles that required leadership and the ability to speak.  When I was young, it was second nature.  I had no problem talking to anyone. My siblings like to say I could make a friend at a rock fight. Perhaps it came from being the youngest of 4, but speaking did not frighten me.

Through the years, life happened.  Experiencing loss, young adult comparison, relationships, divorce all took its toll. I can’t tell you where along the path it got hard, but IT GOT HARD!

Speaking became something that made me panic inside. Fear that I would sound stupid would bubble up, self-doubt would overcome me, and I would avoid it at all costs.

Using many tactics to avoid speaking and still get my job done was and is a great skill of mine.  From putting others in the speaking seat to “spotlight their talent”, hiding behind my partners (they are men and show little hesitation to speak), or just waiting until someone else stepped in to do it, all were on my repertoire.

Recently, my distaste of speaking, and avoidance of such has left me in a less professional light than I am searching. Hiding behind my male counterparts feels like I am acting as an underling or secretary which I am not. Not speaking has begun to feel as if I am keeping myself locked in a closet, unable to reach the people I can help, because they can’t hear me.  Trust me I speak a different language than my male counterparts.

My search for help with this speaking anxiety led me to a wonderful, smart, funny woman named Angela (Angela Lussier, The Speaker Sisterhood).  She has set out to help women improve their public speaking skills. Watching her speak, still looking ultimately professional even if her cheeks brighten, inspired me to put on my own big girl pants, get over myself and get my message out!!  There are women out there who need what I have.

Speaking is now something I do, even if it is “fake it until I make it”. Each time I put myself out there to speak it gets a little easier.  Learning some tools to help me has been encouraging. I still have a long way to go, but just that first step of saying I am going to change this feels FANTASTIC!!

As I grow and learn, I will share my thoughts, in the hopes they will encourage or help others. I send my love, peace and BIG GIRL PANTS out to all of you.  Do something scary today.  It feels good!!!

In the meantime I am bringing Angela’s awesome process to Boston, and hopefully the South Shore.  If you want to find out more check out www.speakersisterhood.com.

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Plato’s 3 Conditions for a Successful Client Engagement http://innerovation.com/platos-3-conditions-successful-client-engagement-2017-06-20/ Wed, 21 Jun 2017 01:38:10 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117235 Plato’s 3 Conditions for a Successful Client Engagement — including a simple qualifying test. Ever work with a client who ends up being a complete tyrant? Plato did. He had a really, really bad client experience. And when I say really bad, I mean, he barely escaped with his life. He literally worked with a […]

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Plato’s 3 Conditions for a Successful Client Engagement — including a simple qualifying test.

Ever work with a client who ends up being a complete tyrant?

Plato did.

He had a really, really bad client experience. And when I say really bad, I mean, he barely escaped with his life.

He literally worked with a tyrant—Dionysius II of Sicily.

I’ve had my own encounters with nightmare clients. I’m happy that none them pursued me wielding swords!

Fortunately Plato lived to tell about his tribulation. And in his Seventh Letter he describes his ordeal and the lessons he learned. These serve as Plato’s conditions for a successful client engagement.

In the hopes of staving off another couple of millennia of unwarranted service provider-distress, I herewith summarize Plato’s three conditions for a successful client engagement.

CONDITION 1: Find the right moment. 

“It’s just not the right time for me.”

How often do salespeople hear that in a variety of forms from potential customers? Very often. What makes someone ready? It’s about finding “a suitable opportunity,” says Plato. What makes a suitable opportunity? Plato found it in moments of discontent and/or change. When Dionysius II came to power, there was a change in governance. This presented an opportunity.

As an entrepreneurial coach, I find opportunities when a business owner wants to make some big changes, when they may be changing ownership, or product lines, or are experiencing market turmoil, or are growing so fast that they can’t keep up. I also find it when people are stuck. These are openings.

When someone starts poking around, they are looking for change. It’s a prime moment for a possible successful client engagement. But it’s not the only condition.

Plato saw an opening for change in Athens in his youth, when the government was going through massive transitions after the Peloponnesian War. But that engagement didn’t satisfy Plato’s second condition: Find someone who says they want your product or service.

CONDITION 2: Find someone who says they want what you’re offering

“Whenever anyone consults me about any of the weightiest matters affecting his own life,” Plato writes, “or if he seems likely to listen to advice about the things on which he consults me, I advise him with readiness, and do not content myself with giving him a merely perfunctory answer. But if a man does not consult me at all, or evidently does not intend to follow my advice, I do not take the initiative in advising such a man, and will not use compulsion, even if he be my own son.”

Pretty straightforward and seems fairly obvious, right? And yet, when I think about it, how often have I found myself offering my assistance to someone who hasn’t asked for it? How many times have I seen someone who clearly needs my help, and I go over to assist them, and they give me a nasty look?

I think of the time when I was younger and I saw an elderly person having trouble crossing the street. I quickly rushed over and offered my hand to her. I’ll never forget the look on her face as she turned up toward me with a sneer and said, “Young man, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” She snapped her arm from me and hobbled away in disdain.

Lesson learned: If not asked, don’t offer!

There was a big opening in Athens for Plato’s assistance, but they didn’t ask him for help. And Plato didn’t offer.

Dionysius II, on the other hand, did ask for Plato’s assistance. So his situation passed the second condition for a successful client engagement. But Dionysius II had trouble passing Plato’s third condition: Find a client who listens.

CONDITION 3: Find a client who listens. 

Plato made his way to Dionysius II as quickly as possible, but it appears to have been too late. Dionysius II already had the ear of other advisors. Plato writes that when he arrived in Sicily, at the court of Dionysius II, he “found the court of Dionysius full of intrigues.”

Plato provides a test for finding out whether a potential client will listen or not.

THE TEST:

Give your potential client instruction. If they follow it, then they are willing and are likely to be a successfully engaged client. If they don’t, then there is no way they will be.

In Plato’s case, he began instructing Dionysius II. Almost immediately Dionysius II began explaining his own ideas of what he thought should be done. Fail. That’s not listening. In fact, Plato notes that Dionysius II later published his own philosophical treatise. Major fail.

I had a similar potential client. As soon as I began describing what I had to offer, he began telling me exactly what he wanted me to do for him and how to do it. Fail. My prospective client seemed genuinely surprised when I told him that I did not think he would be a good fit for my services.

Plato was not so fortunate. By the time Plato realized that Dionysius II did not want what Plato really had to offer, it was too late. Plato was captive in Dionysius II’s household where Dionysius II used Plato’s presence in the palace to—erroneously—demonstrate to his subjects that he was dedicated to philosophy.

Don’t let the wrong clients into your practice! It can not only be a nightmare, it could destroy your business, or worse, put your life at risk. Just ask Plato.

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The Untethered Soul http://innerovation.com/untethered-soul-2017-06-20/ Wed, 21 Jun 2017 01:24:30 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117230 I believe in synchronicity. When multiple people tell me the same thing, especially 3 or more times, then I really pay attention. That’s what happened with this book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.  I had participants in my coaching workshops telling me I HAD to read this book, that I would LOVE it.  Well, […]

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I believe in synchronicity.

When multiple people tell me the same thing, especially 3 or more times, then I really pay attention.

That’s what happened with this book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.  I had participants in my coaching workshops telling me I HAD to read this book, that I would LOVE it.  Well, they were right!

Here is the the summary from the back cover:  “The Untethered Soul begins by walking you through your relationship with your thoughts and emotions, helping you uncover the source and fluctuations of your inner energy.  It then delves into what you can do to free yourself from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit your consciousness.  Finally with perfect clarity, this book opens the door to a life lived in the freedom of your innermost being.”

Here are a couple excerpts from the first two chapters:

Your inner growth is completely dependent upon the realization that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about yourself.

Your thoughts have far less impact on this world than you would like to think.  If you’re willing to be objective and watch all your thoughts, you will see that the vast majority of them have no relevance.  They have no effect on anything or anybody, except you.  They are simply making you feel better or worse about what is going on now, what has gone on in the past, or what might go on in the future.

Eventually you will see that the real cause of problems is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems.

We all live with an inner roommate – that incessant voice that is always talking to us. If somehow that voice managed to manifest in a body outside of you, and you had to take it with you everywhere you went, you wouldn’t last a day. If somebody were to ask you what your new friend is like, you’d say, “This is one seriously disturbed person. Just look up neurosis in the dictionary and you’ll get the picture. Have you ever bothered to check your roommate’s credentials? How many times has it been totally wrong? Maybe it’s worth noticing who you’re going to for advice.

Who am I? Who sees when I see? Who hears when I hear? Who knows that I am aware? Who am I?

I’m going back to my reading now. Intrigued? Feel free to email or post any thoughts about this!

 

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Clarify, Strategize, Plan, Act, Realize, the innerOvation method for problem solving! http://innerovation.com/clarify-strategize-plan-act-realize-innerovation-method-problem-solving-2017-04-07/ Fri, 07 Apr 2017 18:25:29 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117199 During a recent breakfast chat with a leader of a 30-person service company I was posed the following question, “How do I get my supervisors to keep their members off their cell phones during work hours?”.  I laughed aloud and then retorted so what? As the conversation continued we both agreed that the personal smart […]

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During a recent breakfast chat with a leader of a 30-person service company I was posed the following question, “How do I get my supervisors to keep their members off their cell phones during work hours?”.  I laughed aloud and then retorted so what?

As the conversation continued we both agreed that the personal smart phone had advantages and disadvantages in the work place. The ability to be able to immediately contact an employee to deal with an urgent issue was one for the pro column, adversely the constant interruptions of social media and messaging can disrupt one’s train of thought and concentration.

So, with permission I offered a little coaching on the issue and began applying the innerOvation method to problem solving:

  1. Clarify -what is the real issue(s)? We quickly came up with a list of issues including: slowed response to answering the business telephone, not noticing a new client/customer entering the workplace, daily metrics/reports not complete due to, reportedly, a lack of time (but plenty of time to post the geese landing in the employee parking lot on social media). Your list might be different but, still a list to issues significant to you.
  2. Strategize-What are the expectations regarding each item on your list. Are the expectations clear to your employees? Have you communicated your expectations clearly?
  3. Plan- How do you communicate your expectations to your employees? Do you list cell phone use as an example both in a positive and negative way?
  4. Act- Implement your plan to communicate expectations.
  5. Realize – Did you get the desired change you were looking for? What adjustments are needed? Time to celebrate success or pivot and retry?

Although a simplified review of what has become a contentious issue in the work place, the Clarify, Strategize, Plan, Act, Realize method continues to be a proven model for success with our clients.

 

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How to avoid a values collision http://innerovation.com/avoid-values-collision-2017-04-07/ Fri, 07 Apr 2017 17:58:45 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117195 I wake up at 6 to get the train moving. I shower and am ready, when disaster hits. My youngest son comes into the kitchen, teary holding his ears.  I have a new client starting this morning.  What do I do now?  Obviously my son needs to see a doctor.  How do I do that […]

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I wake up at 6 to get the train moving. I shower and am ready, when disaster hits.

My youngest son comes into the kitchen, teary holding his ears.  I have a new client starting this morning.  What do I do now?  Obviously my son needs to see a doctor.  How do I do that from my seat in front of the white board with my high-end new client? Do I leave my son home while he is sick?

It happens to the best of us. We balance work and life well until… we don’t.

Values collide and cause tons of stress. Both choices above represent high values for me. My desire to be professional and follow through as well as my desire to be a present mom, able to be there when I am most needed.  Which value do you pick when they are both important? Below are some suggestions on weighing your values and avoiding a “values collision”.

Weigh in on your values

Stop for a moment and assess what values are at play for you. Which values are colliding? Just recognizing the values at play can be helpful.

Can you delegate?

Are you the only person who can do both tasks? Who in your circle can help you?

Can you prioritize?

Sometimes we have to put one thing first.  The doctor probably won’t be able to see my son till the afternoon. So I can call for an appointment, get him settled and comfortable with his big sister hanging. Wow my new client, and be back in time to take him in for a check.

How can you compromise?

You can pick one thing over another and compromise by deciding to give the put off thing attention later. You could schedule some dedicated time to focus on that.

Forgive yourself

Most importantly you need to forgive yourself.  There is no such thing as Superwoman.  You can only do your best in each situation. Sometimes one value will trump another.  On a different day or situation, the rankings may be reversed. Trust your gut and know you are doing your best in any situation.

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Thought-Weeds and Thought-Seeds http://innerovation.com/thought-weeds-thought-seeds-2017-04-05/ Wed, 05 Apr 2017 18:03:24 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117190 In a recent teambuilding session we were celebrating spring and I asked them the following question: If you were a flower, what would you be and why? Here were some of the responses: Sunflower – because it is warm and bright and when I see one it make me feel light and happy Red Petunia […]

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In a recent teambuilding session we were celebrating spring and I asked them the following question:

If you were a flower, what would you be and why?

Here were some of the responses:

  • Sunflower – because it is warm and bright and when I see one it make me feel light and happy
  • Red Petunia – because even when you pinch off the blossoms they come back with more flowers … and they attract hummingbirds which are amazing to watch
  • Calla Lilly – because it represents interesting variety (there is even a black one) and it is a reminder of love (was his wedding day flower)
  • Camellia – because it just keeps coming back and it has so many beautiful roses on it
  • Geranium – because it reminds me of family and sitting on my porch looking out over the lake

What would be your answer?

As we continued with the conversation – about self-care and renewal – we discovered the flowers were representative of qualities or characteristics that each person had within themselves that they could draw upon to help bolster their courage, strength and wisdom especially in challenging times.

We used a metaphor of thought-weeds and thought-seeds.

The mind is fertile ground just like potting soil.  Whatever you plant with grow very quickly.  Do you want to cultivate thoughts of negativity and judgment which clutter up your mind (the weeds) … or do you want to focus on thoughts of positivity, optimism and kindness that fill your mind and heart with color and beauty and ease (the seeds)?

Through our conversation we uncovered that when we face challenges the thought-weeds can multiply very quickly.  So we identified seven ways to weed the garden of the mind and heart and replace with blooms of forgiveness, kindness and strength.

  1. Face the challenge directly … (but don’t dwell on it)
    • If you avoid dealing with something it drains your energy and precious mind-space even if you think you aren’t thinking about it.  So as quickly as possible, identify the situation – try and figure out what you need … and then let go of any negative thoughts that begin to creep back in (you can tell which ones they are because you will usually feel worry, anxiety, anger, fear or judgment.)

 

  1. Identify and claim your strengths
    • Think back to a time in your life when you may have gone through a similar situation. Really sit back and explore how you got through it.  What did you have to think, believe, do or be to make it through to the other side? Then apply those same strengths to your current situation.

 

  1. Stop comparing your challenge to others (and minimizing it)
    • Sometimes we try and make ourselves feel better by finding someone “worse off” than us. For example, you are going through a divorce and to keep yourself going you say to yourself “Well there are people dying every day who wish they could keep living, so my problems are nothing compared to theirs.”  While it may help to shift your perspective, this kind of thinking also minimizes your feelings and situation.  Be kind to yourself and honor what’s happening for you as being just as important as anyone else.

 

  1. Get support from someone who can relate and offer empathy … (but not necessarily advice).
    • Were you in a car accident?  Are your kids acting up? Are you going back to school for the first time in 25 years?  Ask someone who has been through a similar situation if they would be willing to sit with you and LISTEN.  It’s not so much about them giving your advice (although they might have wisdom to share), it’s more about you receiving empathy and compassion for what you are experiencing. Sometimes listening to yourself talk out loud can help you figure out a solution or at least get more insight into what you need to do.

5.  Do something caring for someone else.

    • When we are being of service to others, we take the focus off ourselves for awhile. This gives your mind, body and heart a break from your ruminations as well as helping you refill with feelings of caring, kindness and compassion.

 

  1. Get out in nature to recharge.
    • Natural beauty is deeply healing for your soul. Take a walk down a forest path. Stop and smell a flower. Listen to birds singing. Appreciate the sun on your face. Just breathe!

 

  1. Take small steps every day.
    • Sometimes a small step might just be getting out of bed. Maybe it’s making a decision you’ve been putting off.  Perhaps you set aside time to call the credit card company.  Or maybe you make an appointment with a coach or therapist.  Taking action is what will keep you moving forward each precious day.

The human mind and spirit is resilient beyond comprehension.  Trust that no matter what is happening your life, you have the capacity to get out of the weeds and grow in strength, courage, faith and love.

 

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Spring Training for Life http://innerovation.com/spring-training-life-2017-02-23/ Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:05:46 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117182 Today is a beautiful day in the Northeast – sunny and mid-50s with a light breeze. I hear birds singing and smell the earthiness as the ground softens with the melting of the final snow. I was walking around today with a light jacket unzipped and driving with the sunroof open … I am feeling […]

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Today is a beautiful day in the Northeast – sunny and mid-50s with a light breeze. I hear birds singing and smell the earthiness as the ground softens with the melting of the final snow. I was walking around today with a light jacket unzipped and driving with the sunroof open … I am feeling light, happy and very energetic with a little extra pep in my step.

Our environment has a huge affect on us. In Chinese Medicine, healthy living is based on understanding and living in accordance with the energy of the seasons. Spring is associated with birth, new growth and creativity. In sports, we all know what spring training means … athletes coming together to raise their level of performance through coaching, motivation, hard work and just plain grit. I recently watched the epic game of the UCONN Women’s Basketball team recently winning their 100th straight game (and they’ve already surpassed that record!) – and anyone who knows Coach Geno Auriemma knows he loves his team and pushes them to play better than they ever thought possible.

So I have some questions for you today … What energizes you?  What do you want to birth or create this season? What gets your juices flowing? What is holding you back from being a star athlete in your life? I see my job as a life and leadership coach to be much like Geno … love my clients unconditionally and support them in digging deep and realizing their true potential.

I had a client today who has been preparing for teaching and offering divine guidance as a facilitator at a retreat in Tanzania. She is fulfilling a life goal … and for the last few months I’ve had the honor of coaching her to really hone in on her strengths and transform any negative mental judgment into kindness and self-compassion.  She’s ready and getting on the plane on Sunday. She’s going to show up and be amazing!

Do you need some help in getting ready for what’s next in your life? Want to show up more fully? Please leave a comment below and let me know what’s up as I would love to support you in any way I can!

Happy Spring!

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The Power of Self-Care http://innerovation.com/power-self-care-2017-01-28/ Sat, 28 Jan 2017 22:17:09 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117169 “You saved my life!” I’m not sure I’ve ever had anyone say that to me, but it happened yesterday.  I was facilitating a group of clinicians in a Care for the Caregiver session for the CT Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.  I was sitting next to a woman who is a team leader […]

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“You saved my life!”

I’m not sure I’ve ever had anyone say that to me, but it happened yesterday.  I was facilitating a group of clinicians in a Care for the Caregiver session for the CT Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.  I was sitting next to a woman who is a team leader for a local mental health organization.  She said, “I don’t know if you remember this but you came to our organization a couple of years ago to do a self-care workshop.  I felt like I was having a day that was just falling apart, actually the whole week had been horrible, and what you shared with us that day really helped me get through it all. I actually have the meditation CD you gave us in my car right now and I listen to it all the time!”

Why is self-care so important?

If we are not attending to our needs in multiple aspects of life, then our capacity to have energy, focus, enthusiasm and purpose can be significantly impacted. When I guide people in exploring the best approach to their self-care we talk about 6 aspects of wellbeing:

  1. Spiritual
  2. Mental
  3. Emotional
  4. Physical
  5. Social
  6. Environmental

 

Spiritual

Everyone defines the spiritual aspect of their life in different ways.  They may be related to religious beliefs, or not. It is a person’s capacity to be connected to something larger than themselves – the universe, nature, source, God, spirit … and to have a connection to themselves and other beings on the planet in a meaningful way.  What feeds your soul?  What values are most important to you? How do you align with your purpose? What brings you awe?

Mental

The quality of your mind, intellect and capacity to think.  Mental aspects include your ability to stay focused (versus multi-tasking), the ways in which you stimulate (or rest) your mind, and your capacity for curiosity.  It’s also all about your attitudes and beliefs, your quality of self-talk and your capacity see things from multiple perspectives. How can you see situations from multiple perspectives? What can you do to be more mindful and present? How can you change your self-talk to be kinder, gentler and more self-compassionate?

Emotional

All things that pertain to feelings.  Often times we can get overwhelmed by feelings (which of course are related to our thoughts) and this can overshadow our ability to think clearly and act appropriately.  When we learn to respond versus react to strong impulses we maintain more control and flexibility in situations. Allowing yourself to fully express your feelings is a very important skill in emotional wellbeing.  Notice triggers (people, situations, events) and create strategies to minimize their effect. How do you handle strong feelings? What can you do to feel more loving kindness toward yourself and others? How can you practice more gratitude?

Physical

The health of your body and all the systems within it.  Making sure that you are nourishing and the needs of your body – with food, activity, rest and breath.  What are you eating, drinking and breathing?  How are you moving, strengthening and creating flexibility? What are you doing preventatively and proactively to keep your body strong?

Social

Human beings are social creatures.  In this aspect of wellbeing we look to create a balance between all the ways in which we interact with family, friends, loved ones, colleagues and even strangers. What are the quality of your relationships? What environments do you enjoy being in? How do you recharge – around other people or by yourself?

Environmental

Nature, your office, your home, your surroundings all fall into this aspect.  Sights, sounds, smells, temperature are just a few ways to notice your environment. What do you notice with any of your senses? What might make your environment more supportive?

Do a mini self-care check-in with the Self-Care Wheel right now!

Also, if you are a professional clinician check out this Caregiver Wellbeing Wheel.

Have questions or want to chat about your self-care … let me know!

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Steps to Calming the Chaos Storm http://innerovation.com/5-steps-calming-chaos-2017-01-26/ Fri, 27 Jan 2017 02:18:45 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117162 There is still an unpacked box in my master bedroom bath.  I have lived in my new house for 6 weeks now, and I still haven’t set up my master bath. We found our toothbrushes though so it is ok. The chaos I have sailed through included 9 months of a 3-bedroom house with 5 […]

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There is still an unpacked box in my master bedroom bath.  I have lived in my new house for 6 weeks now, and I still haven’t set up my master bath. We found our toothbrushes though so it is ok.

The chaos I have sailed through included 9 months of a 3-bedroom house with 5 kids and two dogs living in it, being on the market. Two realtors and too many showings later it sold. Now to pack up all our sh*t and move.  Down to the week before we were not sure of the move day, which actually became three days. Move out, wait, move in.  We stayed calm only to have our daughter develop mono (before she packed), my husband break his wrist as we moved in and several other things including a growth in our business. Three weeks later for the first time in my life (I’m 47) I hosted my family for Christmas.

The chaos was fast and furious.  How to get unpacked, keep working, and catch up my homeschooler (we didn’t school for a week during the move).  There was a list two miles long of things I had to do and wanted to do.  I wanted to crawl into a corner but I was spinning so fast I found it hard to even sit.

When chaos hits your life do you crumble and let it spin you down that spiral? I want to share with you my five steps of dealing with chaos and staying productive and happy, not allowing yourself to spin.

How do we face life’s chaos and not get pulled in.  This recent life experience has shown me a five step method to keeping the spin on low.

  • BREATHE – First thing is to breathe. You can only do so much. Take a moment to realize that this chaos ebbs and flows like the ocean.  It is not always tumultuous like the day after a storm. There will be a crystal clear quiet ocean again. It is the way of the world. Count to 10 or 100 if need be. Close your eyes and imagine the chaos gone. Note: with big nasty chaos you may need to repeat this step many times.  There is no limit on how many times you can visit this step.
  • PRIORITIZE – Once you have slowed your spin, try to prioritize. What absolutely needs to get done?  My toothbrush must be found or I have to go buy one. Ordering the new cover for my couch, or replace the rug in the front hall, not so much.  Taking stock of what the really important things are and concentrating on them can be incredibly freeing. Perhaps chose one at a time and keep picking away at it until it is complete, then move on to the next important.  Having a smaller list can also increase productivity. Feeling the sense of accomplishment in getting that one thing done is way better than feeling bad that you only got 16 of the 20 things done that you wanted to.
  • DELEGATE – You are not an island! I have not met anyone in quite some time that has not even one person around to help. People love to help. What things can you delegate to others? I let my 19 year old set up the kitchen and play Santa, asked my 20-23 year old boys to carry stuff (constantly), even had my 10 year old doing odd jobs. I let go of the need to do everything myself and gave my husband jobs knowing that done was imperative.  All of these things could be tweaked or adjusted later once we had towels and beds set up, not just mattresses on the floor.
  • REALITY CHECK – All of this was very helpful, but I also needed numerous daily check ins with reality. My sister and my mother were not going to judge me at Christmas if I don’t have a dining room set. I am not super woman, even though I did paint two bedrooms in one day. Reality is I probably should have taken 2 or three days to do that. Looking at the realistic side of things, instead of what we believe we can do, or what people will think, can really lesson the velocity of the chaotic spin.
  • BE GRATEFUL – Gratefulness and celebration are like super powers against the chaos. Being able to celebrate that we as a family had made it to a house that fits, was like an emergency brake to the chaos. Even if you are celebrating checking one thing off the two-mile long list, shifts the focus away from the chaos. Decorating our Christmas tree without having to rearrange furniture like we did in our tiny living room was a huge win. Small wins add up and lead to that calm ocean.

We have reached a much lower level of chaos.  We all have beds assembled, Christmas is over, I know where my toothbrush and my shoes are, and the list is not so long. We weathered this major storm and didn’t get sucked into the vortex. The next time crazy chaos taps on your shoulder try these tips to calm the storm.

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But What if I Fail? http://innerovation.com/but-what-if-i-fail-2017-01-26/ Fri, 27 Jan 2017 02:06:18 +0000 http://innerovation.com/?p=117159 Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy   The fear of failure can cause us to stop dead in our tracks.   Consider Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb or Dyson’s 5,126 attempts to invent a bag-less vacuum cleaner. In her most recent book, Rising Strong, author […]

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Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

 

The fear of failure can cause us to stop dead in our tracks.

 

Consider Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb or Dyson’s 5,126 attempts to invent a bag-less vacuum cleaner. In her most recent book, Rising Strong, author and researcher Brene’ Brown writes “Failure can become nourishment if we are willing to get curious, show up vulnerable and human and put rising strong into practice”.

 

Starting a diet, a business, a career change, a book, a coaching relationship, just setting out on a project or a journey may unleash negative voices and fear. Does failure mean we are done or is it an indication to make adjustments and try again?

 

I offer the following questions to ask to assist in reengagement after failure:

  1. Did I really fail (how true is that) or did I win/solve a different problem? The inventor of the post-it note was working on a stronger faster bonding glue.
  2. Consider asking others for their view, do they concur or do they have a different view of the situation?
  3. What did I learn from the failure? Doing an in-depth analysis of the steps that lead to the failure may bring you closer to the path of success.
  4. What is the risk of trying again? Did the experiment cause an explosion and almost kill you and your team? Do we have the resources to try again? What did you learn to help reduce the risk during your next attempt?
  5. Is there a shift you could make to and get the overall results in different manner? Consider a Certified Professional Coach to help reframe, reset and plan your next steps.

Failure can mark the end for a project but considering the great inventions and innovation in history failure can be the next step to success!!

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